Lilian came into the Hospice twice in 2016, receiving symptom management support initially and end-of-life care later in the same year. Now 9 years on we have the privilege of speaking to one of her daughters, Paula, who has joined Halton Haven Hospice as a Complementary Therapist.
“A hospice is very different to what you think.”
“My mum was quite stoic really in the way she handled her life limiting illness. She had a series of problems that led to her final cancer diagnosis.
Her preference was always to stay at home, but she came in the August for symptom management. It was beautiful weather, and she was pleased because she had a room with patio doors. She thought it was good that she could come in and out of the garden. I think she was absolutely blown away by the place and how they helped her and how everyone was so lovely and listened to her. Having somebody there 24 hours a day that she could tap into for support was amazing.
We all struggled but I struggled particularly from the perspective of being a nurse too. However, the staff were very good at saying, ‘you’re not here as a nurse, you’re here as a daughter’ giving me the space to be there for my mum and knowing that she was in excellent hands.
On the second occasion, in October, mum needed a blood transfusion and rather than having to go into hospital she came into the Hospice which was a much better option for her. Then when she deteriorated, she was happy to stay at the Hospice for her care, although originally she had wanted to be at home. All her Holistic needs were met by a very knowledgeable and caring team. During this time her family stayed by her side and we were made to feel welcome.
You hope that you never have to experience yourself or a loved one being in a hospice, but once you have experienced it you understand that it’s very different to what you thought. There’s lots of different services the Hospice can offer to support people in the community.”
“She was treated with the best care that I’ve ever encountered.”
“The staff also cared for us as family members. I struggled with some of it but during that time the staff listened to us, they looked after us, and the whole hospice culture was just phenomenal and we’ll never forget that.
Me and my two sisters stayed for 10 days and nights, very rarely going home because she was so poorly. We never felt like we were in the way, we were always made to feel welcome.
Being at the Hospice just felt seamless, like everything was sorted quickly. The stress was reduced as much as it could be, and everybody was just fantastic.”
“Having someone willing to listen makes a huge difference.”
At Halton Haven Hospice, the staff aren’t just caring for someone’s physical health. They aim to support in all aspects of someone’s journey and for Lilian and her family, it was the time they gave to listen which made a huge impact.
“My mum must have been awake in the night and probably thinking about things and my mum said, ‘I had a little chat to a nurse in the night and she was brilliant. She really helped’. Then one night I was very upset, and a nurse just gave me a big hug and we had a chat, it was very late. I just thought how wonderful it was to have somebody that listened to you any time of the day or night when you were obviously finding things difficult. The staff just have a natural caring nature, with the willingness to listen and be there for people. It makes a massive difference.”
A place you can’t quite put into words.
“Those last few days and time spent with a loved one is so precious. The fact that my mum had a dignified death, with her symptoms controlled, in a space where we were all supported, facilitated by the staff allowing us to be there for the whole time, that meant a lot to us as a family.
Nobody really wants to be here but if you need the care, if a perfect place existed, it would be Halton Haven Hospice. It’s just so peaceful, I’m not sure I can put it into words. All of us as a family will never forget it.”
Lilian will also always be a part of Halton Haven Hospice, as families had the chance to name our rooms during the refurbishment finished in 2018.
“They gave us the chance to name a room. It was flower themed, so it was a no-brainer because my mums name is Lilian, we named it Lily.”
“I don’t feel like I’m going to work”
Paula has now joined Halton Haven Hospice as Complementary Therapist, providing support and services to patients that helps to manage symptoms and wellbeing.
“I’m so lucky and so privileged to be able to give something back. It is a difficult place at times, it can be sad, but that satisfaction of knowing you have supported someone seems to override all of that.
I don’t feel like I’m going to work, it’s not even a job. I just love it. Everyone’s so nice and I like the culture. I don’t think you could ask for anything more in a job.”
